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July 23rd, |
2001 |
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The great unEscape.
How people treat each other in certain social situations; How they react to someone from a differing status or background; How far a person will go to smooth a situation over for the betterment of all, even if it puts them in an outwardly awkward social position for the short term; Why people value the company and friendship of some over others; ...not only how people go about doing the simple things that they do, but why. What's the core motivation, the nature of the desired end behind the means? I look at myself and ponder the same questions. Why do/did I act that/this particular way? There are solid reasons why we do things, but most of us don't like to think about those reasons because doing so occasionally exposes the self-serving cold hearted idiot within. I thought about calling some people to go and do something tonight, but ended up setting my lunch box by the sink and falling asleep on the couch for an hour with the soothing sounds of the 6 o'clock news and half of Entertainment Tonight. I woke up and thought about it summore. Five minutes later I was popping the clutch in 3rd, riding up a steep dirt trail without wearing any motorcycle boots or concerns, about anything other than grabbing 2nd and throwing dirt around the next tight corner. Why do I/people retreat to such activities when there are more important situations and other people to think about? Got me. I dunno. I guess going back to simple thrills helps keep things in perspective, …no wait, correction: it delays having to do the things that for whatever reason make a person uncomfortable. There are miles and miles of trails around here. Logging trucks and hunting clubs keep them pretty well maintained during most parts of the year. All kinds of terrain; Thick white clay, red sand, mud and gravel cover a setting of very familiar hills, muddy thickets, and dusty stretches of all that lies in between. An indescribable state of mind exists when you ride for no other reason than to ride. To throttle down into a low ravine and come ramping out the other side with your eyes wide open and your senses tapped out on adrenaline is a form of therapy that can't be compared with any other activity. The weird part, is what happens fifteen or twenty minutes into the ride. The unconscious mind seems to take over every aspect of what you're doing. All the mental energy involved in gear changes, clutching, breaking, accelerating, and shifting your body for those critical moments of balance seem to take second place to remembering that you must breathe in and out. It is now, that what you're riding away from, those things you're escaping with every movement, again take over your thoughts. The wheels keep spinning and the person on the bike continues to make hundreds and thousands of movements and decisions, but the mind is elsewhere. Why aren't you doing something tonight? I flew by at least five dog carcasses and three piles of roofing shingles in a twenty minute ride. People come out here to shoot, dump and rid themselves of numerous hassles that could've been taken care of in a mature manner, if they'd just channeled a little time and effort into doing the right thing. They are people just like me, ..the only difference being that my hang-ups don't particularly involve shooting unwanted pets or dumping construction waste. I only come out here to get kill time; Time stolen from being a better person. |
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