October 15th,

2001

I am a retard.

By myself at a round metal table, outside in the sun at school, I sit. Finishing off a huge piece of pizza, I am totally relaxed. Not a care in the world. I've been happily productive on various tasks and now i'm out here lazily satisfied. Then there is the Hostess Twinkie. I unwrap it and take a slow massive bite. And it is at this time that I receive a Revelation. A stunning concept. It goes something like this:

Bite into a Twinkie and examine of cross-section of it's goodness. Now what we're going to waste our time thinking about is this: Compare the nature of your life, with the apparent physical composition of your twinkie. Because you see, life, in many ways, is in fact, like a Twinkie. There are two distinct parts of it. If your twinkies aren't like this, you're weird. Get with the program. None of those fluffy red, or rainbow colored hostess cakes, keep it simple and go for the real thing. But yes, there are two distinct parts which make up a glorious twinkie: The golden sponge cake outer shell, and the inner creamy white filling.

Now sit there, wherever you are, and think about the obvious fact that a large portion of your life is seemingly monotonous. Those boring, everyday routine, nothing special, slow moving aspects of life can be fittingly represented by the "golden sponge cake" section of the twinkie you are holding in your hand. This is the place where we will spend the large majority of our days and our time, regardless of whether or not we are agreeable or happy to do so.

Then focus your eye on the obviously attractive creamy filling, composed of partially hydrogenated vegetable and/or animal shortening, canola oil, corn oil, cottonseed oil, soybean oil, beef fat, eggs, and dextrose. The creamy filling is what you desire. Don't lie. That which you strive to experience. To attain. It seems that most people spend their "golden sponge cake" days, thinking about the "creamy filling" days yet to come. Dreaming, and working to prepare for the creamy filling so as to make it the most pleasurable and rewarding experience as possible. They don't take the time to sit back and enjoy the cake. To appreciate the golden cake for it's beautiful function and simple flow.

But of course for some, the cake just happens to be there. As a bystander. A detail. Because, ...it's all about sweet filling. This sort of grasp or understanding on life labels the golden cake as an entity which serves no other purpose than to surround the inner sweet filling.

I'm saying that they're wrong. I'm saying that the golden cake is very important. Just as important as the white filling. One, in the absence or lack of the other, is not natural. Without the simple monotonous aspects of living, how would you ever have an understanding or appreciation for the times absolutely fantastic?

Imagine a world where the creamy filling folks had their way. You'd go to the store and pick up clear plastic packets of white twinkie goo; life would be packed with 100% jubilation. Extreme glee would encompass your entire day. High emotion. Extreme uninterrupted pleasure. And pleasure on a permanent basis would eventually turn to pain. You'd certainly get sick, off of all that continuous sweetness. Nauseous.