I haven't picked up a camera in three weeks. The last time I took a picture, I was in a funeral home. A disposable fuji camera was pulled from a suitcoat pocket and I made a quick snapshot of the closed casket containing my little brother.
We got in the car and went home. Collin didn't come with us this time. He made his last ride in a car and they put him in the ground.
I gave the disposable camera to Lesley. I didn't know what I should do with it. I don't think she does either. I had the camera at the hospital, and was taking pictures of Collin in the ICU, pictures of our waiting room, pictures of us eating in the cafeteria, pictures of us lounging around worrying for two weeks. I thought Collin would get a kick out of seeing them, after he got better. But he didn't.
I found the camera under the passenger side seat of our car as we were driving to the funeral. There was only one exposure left. So I figured, Collin would get a kick out of seeing his own casket.
Those pictures might never get developed.
It is definately a weird spooky sad uneasy thing, to even consider.
Sometimes I think about going to get the camera and burning it. But I think the best thing to do is hang onto it for awhile, until I have clearer judgment.
Links:
"I have a huge advantage over a lot of photographers," said Lawson, who moved to Salt Lake City from Anchorage, Alaska, 15 years ago to study at the University of Utah. "I grew up ski racing. I can bike, I can kayak, I can climb. I can do a lot of sports. I'm not a champion, but I'm good enough."
Banff Mountain Photography Competition
Link:
Frontier Photographer: Edward S. Curtis
A Smithsonian Institution Libraries Exhibition
"Edward S. Curtis (1868-1952) left an indelible mark on the history of photography in his 20-volume life's work, The North American Indian.
Part photographic essay, part ethnographic survey, and part work of art, Curtis' North American Indian Project represented an attempt to capture images of American Indians as they lived before contact with Anglo cultures. The photogravure prints in The North American Indian reveal peoples whose traditional ways of life were coming to an end as the U.S. frontier began to fade.
Thirty years of grueling work on the North American Indian Project cost the artist his marriage and his health. It also yielded an American legacy that is an artistic masterpiece."
On the printing process:
"A platemaker first etches the photographic image from a glass positive onto a copper plate for printing. After the etching, artisans face the plate with steel. Then they treat it with sepia-toned ink. Finally, the workers place the plate in a high-pressure printing press and print the image onto paper that has been specially prepared to receive the ink."
The night before Collin's funeral I came here to look at some photographs that I have of him, ..only to find that somebody had leached into my photo server script and wrecked everything. Its all messed up now, and will take a long time to fix, but I'll fix it.
...figures